Empty Nest Ennui

 

Credit: Liz West via Creative Commons

My rate of posting to my blog has slowed down a bit.  I credit this in part to what I am calling Empty Nest Ennui.  True, my children are 21 and 25. You would think that I would be well past adjusting to an empty next. However, I just passed two mile markers. 

My son just turned 25, which is the end of adolescence by the way we talk about things in our house. Neurologists declare that the age where the frontal cortex is (typically) fully formed. Insurance actuaries figured this out decades ago from data regarding accidents. This is when people are better equipped to conduct risk assessments regarding their personal choices.  Also, my son moved out a year ago in March, and he seems to be managing his own expenses.  He's flown. 

My daughter is in her senior year of college. I just recently paid her tuition for her final semester. She isn't quite sure what she will do for work when she graduates. Her degrees are in music performance and music media production. She needs to learn how to hustle, but she is also busy working on two senior projects: recording and editing some music and then rehearsing for a senior solo recital. She's too overwhelmed to look for a job until after graduation. But the real point here is this: she lives 5 hours a way, and she signed a housing contract to stay in her college town next year. She's flown. 

Even though I did not have children until my late 30s, I am feel a bit lost, without purpose. Things that usually engage me (teaching college, hosting friends once month at my house, going to the gym, being a big fan of Eurovision) feel a bit blah to me. Yes, I am a bit depressed. I need to recalibrate, get a new project going, create a new purpose for myself. 

I did not expect to be this influenced by my truly empty nest. (Well, we are still paying for their phones and car insurance.) But socially and emotionally, I don't play a role in their lives. It's so weird. I guess parenting is about working yourself out of a job.