Late Life Happiness Boost: U Shaped Happiness Curve

 

Image by Smithsonian Institute
via Creative Commons

There are many researchers of the human life span that question the phenomenon of a "Midlife Crisis." However, there are researchers seeking to establish that people tend to experience a dip in happiness in midlife that creates a U shape: measurable happiness in ones 20s, a dip in their 30s to 50s, and a boost in their 60s and 70s.  

The Economist published a 2010 article. There is a paywall, but you can view a graphic that illustrates the concept. 

Midlife is a time where many adults are overburdened with responsibilities: they are trying to work for promotions; they have children at home who need their time and attention; they are trying to adjust expectations for their marriages, which can lead to divorce or newly negotiated roles within the family system; they are comparing their visions for their life with the realities of their life; they are hitting their limitations, which not only includes financial limitations but limitations to their character and health. 

Managing expectations vs. reality is sobering if not terrifying. 

Downhill (2020): Film Review

 

Released 14 February 2020.

How do couples in long-lasting relationships manage the shift in dynamics that inevitably happen over time?

Downhill (2020) directed by Nate Faxon and Jim Rash present a narrative that addresses this and other questions about love at midlife. Their film is an adaptation of a 2014 Swedish film Force Majeure.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Will Ferrell play Billie and Pete Staunton who are vacationing with their two tween boys at a ski resort in the Swiss Alps.

Because of the film’s title and the preview, I watched the film with an eye for weaknesses in the marriage, finding both couple contributing to some dysfunction: Pete is not invested enough; Billie is overly invested in managing every detail.  

(Spoilers ahead.)

The Cost of Living: Book Review

Published July 10, 2018. 

Oh, this book is deceptively powerful.

Deborah Levy is a playwright, poet, novelist and two-times finalist for the Booker Prize. Now she's working on a series of books that autobiographical.

The second installment is The Cost of Living: A Working Autobiography.  In her book, she describes her life during the wake of her divorce and the decline of her mother.

During this time, Levy is trying to support herself by her writing. She must juggle being a single mother to teenage girls and living in modest circumstance.

Levy writes about doing her own plumbing repairs in her modest flat and learning to negotiate the city on her motorized bicycle. She also accepts an invitation to write in a garden shed that belongs to an acquaintance.

Amid all these pragmatics, Levy writes about what it means to be a woman in the 21st Century and how she responds to the roles pushed on women, who are often described as "my wife" or "his wife" and not even named.

The Land of Steady Habits: Film Review

Released September 14, 2018.

I'm approaching sixty, and I've been watching a number of marriages among my friends disintegrate when their children reach young adulthood.

The Land of Steady Habits is a 2018 film based off a 2014 novel of the same name. Ted Thompson is the book's author, but it's Nicole Holofcenter who writes the screenplay, directs, and co-produces the film.

This film reminded me of Cheever's "The Swimmer," and--indeed--Thompson's novel has been noted to capture the same ennui of Cheever as well as Updike--but with a 21st Century style.

The film features sixty-something Anders Harris who has decided that his conventional life in the Connecticut suburbs lacks meaning. In order to inject his life with passion, authenticity, and purpose, he quits his job in the finance world of NYC, divorces his wife, and moves out of his suburban home and into a condo.

All this freedom doesn't produce the happiness he expected.

Reinventing Myself at Midlife, Again

Newburgh, Indiana River Front. Photo by Karen D. Austin

When I was in my mid twenties, I spent a lot of time creating a life plan.

As I travel through life, I find that planning my life out 50 years ahead is futile.

Spending a lot of time thinking about the next 10 years or even the next 5 years ends up distracting me too much from current opportunities.

Now I visualize my life more in six months increments.  I might project a little further ahead, but I don't spend much time doing that, and those plans remain more ethereal.

Right now, I'm in a great state of flux.

I'm selling my Kansas house in May and moving to Indiana.

Not only do I have to manage a lot of pragmatics, I am managing emotional and conceptual aspects of my life.  A lot of my identity is wrapped up in my social connections and roles in various organizations.

By moving 600 plus miles away, I will have to reinvent myself. Again. 

About Schmidt vs O'Horten: Film Pairing

About Schmidt Released 2002; O'Horten Released 2007.

After watching over 200 films depicting midlife and late life, I'm seeing patterns.

Sometimes one film influences another. For example, Make Way for Tomorrow (1937) has a strong influence on two subsequent films.

Other films are direct remakes, such as the 2014 English-language version of the 2005 Spanish film Elsa y Fred.

In this instance, I see two characters taking different approaches to the same life passage. For this reason, I recommend that people watch About Schmidt (2002) and O'Horten (2007) back to back--but necessarily in the same evening.

Schmidt and O'Horten are both men who retire at the beginning of their narratives.  Nebraska native Schmidt worked at a insurance company for decades before retiring at age 66.  Norway native O'Horten worked as a train conductor for decades before retiring at age 67.

Both men exhibit highly ingrained habits at work and at home.  Both men experience personal chaos because of the loss of their workplace routines.  This leads both men to question everything from their identity to their relationships to society at large.

What differs is their path through that chaos.

Goodbye, Size 4

We've had a good run. G'bye!

Today I'm taking a bag of clothes to the thrift store.   After six months of trying to maintain a girlish figure, I'm giving up.

"Goodbye, Size 4!"

But I've Always Been Small! 

I'm short--just under five feet tall (apx 152 cm).  I was raised by a single mother, and I was the oldest of her three girls.

In the 1970s, my sisters and I shopped at the 5-7-9 store, and we wore small sizes.  Our mother is also small.

I defined my femininity by being petite. I haven't been much for jewelry or make up or manicures. But I was big on weighing as little as possible.

After having children and moving into midlife, I've seen my ideal weight creep up from 102 to 107 to 112.

From what I've read, people don't need to gain weight when they hit midlife. They can exercise, eat right and do a little strength training (weight lifting).

When Does Midlife Start & End?

Photo by wordsnpix.

Late life or older adulthood is the focus of my blog. Consequently, I have made efforts to define "older adult."

Defining "older adult" is complex, because you can't just choose a specific chronological age. 

Roles, function, and perception contribute to the definition of late life--and any life stage.

Recently, people have asked me to define midlife. I'm finding this to be even trickier. 

Midlife starts when young adulthood ceases and before older adulthood starts.  

My forays have found age ranges for midlife landing anywhere between 25 (for those who settle down early) to 75 (for those who still maintain a lot of midlife adult tasks).

The US Census identifies midlife as 35 to 54, a pretty young age range. 

Let's look at the age ranges posited by a few well-established psychologists. 

40 to 65 for Carl Jung.   

30 to 60 for Robert J. Havighurst. 

30 to 60 for  Erik Erikson.

40 to 65 for  Daniel Levinson.