Can't Nothing Bring Me Down: Book Review

Published 27 February 2018.

I like to read about mature athletes, but usually I just read news stories.

I was delighted to read runner Ida Keeling's autobiography, Can't Nothing Bring Me Down: Chasing Myself in the Race against Time (2018).

Keeling, born in 1915, writes from the perspective of a centenarian. She was raised by parents who immigrated to New York from the Caribbean.

She worked in factories while raising four children. For the more part, she was a single mother. Later in life, she worked in the records department of the Harlem Hospital.

Not only does she describe her own experiences. She's a witness to larger cultural, political, and historical forces. For example, she describes the Great Depression, World War II, Civil Rights, and Vietnam. She also responds to the election of Obama to the presidency.

Women Rowing North: Book Review

Published January 15, 2019. 

Mary Pipher has written a book for women in the second half of life.

Women Rowing North: Navigating Life's Currents and Flourishing as We Age was published in January of 2019.

I was happy to get my hands on the book in March. Pipher, who is in her early seventies, does describe her own approach to meeting life's challenges; however, she introduces us to dozens of women. A handful of these appear throughout the book.

She also brings in some quotes and describes some research findings. However, she chiefly tells stories about herself and others.

I read Women Rowing North over four days: one day for each of the sections:

From the Stage to the Page

Photo by Jorg Schubert.

I don't want to write too much about this because I'm trying to be positive. However, I want to document a shift that I'm experiencing at midlife.

I am shifting away from being an outgoing person in social settings to being largely absent.

Jessie's Empty Nest in Toy Story 2

Photo by Jeff Christiansen.

Toy Story 2 was released in 1999, which was during a time between the births of my two children. 

As they moved through their childhood, we watched the film at home several times to their delight..

The first five times I watched Toy Story 2 with my young children, I focused on Emily.

That character demonstrated how my children were moving through stages of childhood and leaving childhood things behind.

Then when my children became tweens and teens, I didn't watch this film at all.

Now my children are launching into adulthood.

My son moved to Nevada a year and a half ago, and I haven't seen him at all during this time. My daughter is a senior in high school.

Intellectually, I understand that they need to establish their own lives. I've been teaching university classes and running academic support services since the 1980s. During these several decades, I've been self-righteously telling parents who visit campus to "let go."

Experiencing an emptying nest myself is more emotional than I anticipated. 

The Cost of Living: Book Review

Published July 10, 2018. 

Oh, this book is deceptively powerful.

Deborah Levy is a playwright, poet, novelist and two-times finalist for the Booker Prize. Now she's working on a series of books that autobiographical.

The second installment is The Cost of Living: A Working Autobiography.  In her book, she describes her life during the wake of her divorce and the decline of her mother.

During this time, Levy is trying to support herself by her writing. She must juggle being a single mother to teenage girls and living in modest circumstance.

Levy writes about doing her own plumbing repairs in her modest flat and learning to negotiate the city on her motorized bicycle. She also accepts an invitation to write in a garden shed that belongs to an acquaintance.

Amid all these pragmatics, Levy writes about what it means to be a woman in the 21st Century and how she responds to the roles pushed on women, who are often described as "my wife" or "his wife" and not even named.

Aging with Wisdom: Book Review

Published November 14, 2017. 

Since her forties, Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle has collected quotes, stories, and her own thoughts in a file labeled "Aging and Wisdom."

In her late seventies, this project came to fruition as a 2017 book, Aging with Wisdom: Reflections, Stories & Teachings.

The insights from this book, of course, are drawn from a broader source than a manila file folder.

Hoblitzelle has experience as a therapist, writer, and speaker. She draws from both Western and Eastern traditions, from quests of the mind and of the body.

The result is a book that conveys a tone of "Softness and Ease" (one of her chapter titles) that also offers quiet strength on how to negotiate the Second Half of life.

Summarizing the book proves challenging since the book serves as a catalyst for individual meditation.

I found myself reading some passages slowly. This allowed me to review events from my life in light of the chapter before me. Some of the sections address age-related challenges and opportunities I have yet to encounter. Consequently, I hope to reread this book as my life situation shifts over the coming decades.

Queen Mimi: Film Review

Released 13 May 2015.

Queen Mimi (2015) is a 75 minute documentary introduces the viewers to an octogenarian woman living in a Santa Monica laundromat.

Over the course of the documentary, Mimi shares her survival strategies, attitudes, and relationships.

The entire documentary is riveting.  Mimi defies stereotypes about the homeless and reveals herself to be very complex.

For example, she cannot abide homeless people loitering in "her" laundromat. She's also incredibly cheerful, given her limited resources.  She's also a bit of a flirt, charming those around her and not alienating them.

As a gerontologist, I was particularly interested in seeing how Mimi showed incredible emotional and physical resilience in late life. She serves as an example to me on how to be flexible and resourceful in meeting life's challenges.

I would outline the whole of her biography, but much of the documentary's tension comes from the aim to answer these questions: Has she always been homeless? Does she have a family Do they know where she is?

Well, in fewer than two hours of viewing, you can learn the answer to these questions while also complicating your view of the homeless.

Related:

Films about Aging
The Stranger in My Recliner: Book Review 

Iris (Apfel): Film Review

Released 28 April 2015.

Director Albert Maysles aims his camera at that rare bird of fashion, Iris Apfel and the result is the documentary Iris (2015).

Born in 1921, Iris received an education in art history and then went on to work in interior decorating with her husband Carl Apfel. They traveled the world to design fabrics and to purchase unique items for their clientele.

Over the decades and often while traveling, Iris purchased many unique clothing items and pieces of costume jewelry.

Because she had well-healed clients and attended socialized with the rich and famous, word got out to museums about her sense of style. Her outfits were featured in museums, and she has been a model for MAC cosmetics.

She's in high demand these days, which is a bit tricky for a nonagenarian.

Thankfully, we have access to Iris through this documentary, which runs 1 hour and 23 minute.  We get a close look at her clothes, jewelry, home furnishings, work, marriage, and travels.

While it would be impractical for most women to imitate Iris--given people's limitations of money and space--I found her inspiring. She encourages me to embrace color, to accessorize, and to exhibit confidence.

Related:

Advanced Style: Film Review

Olive Kitteridge: Book Review

Published 25 March 2008.

Olive Kitteridge is greater than the sum of its parts.

For this reason, I struggle to fully explain my response to this intriguing novel, presented as a collection of 13 interconnected short stories.

I can gesture to some of the novel's strengths: the structure is ornate yet easy to read, the setting of Crosby, Maine well supports many of the themes, the characters are at once odd and recognizable, and the treatment of aging is complex.

Notably, Olive Kitteridge (2008) by Elizabeth Strout was awarded the 2009 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction.

Also, HBO aired its award-winning mini-series, Olive Kitteridge, based on the novel and starring Frances McDormand as the title character.

It took me seven years to finally pick up a copy of the book so that I could answer the question "Why all the fuss?" for myself. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book.

Prayers for Sale: Book Review

14 April 2009.

Living in a mining town in the Rocky Mountains above Denver isn't easy for the men combing through dirt and mud in an effort to get rich.

Life isn't much better for the women who join them.

By mixing historical facts with her imagination, Sandra Dallas builds something that is simultaneously hearty and beautiful in her 2009 novel Prayers for Sale.

I very much enjoyed getting to learn more about the people who lived in the area of Breckenridge, Colorado between the Civil War and the Great Depression.

This novel, however, is much more than a history lesson about Colorado mining towns. It's a celebration of resilience by learning how to live off the land, develop personal character, maintain female friendship and tap into the power of storytelling. 

Dallas shows us decades of rough living through the eyes of 86-year-old Hennie Comfort.  The value of Hennie's know how is immediately apparent when 17-year-old Nit Spindle arrives from the South with her husband in Middle Swan.  Nit knows very little about running a household at a high elevation and without the resources available in a conventional town. Hennie quickly takes Nit under her wing, teacher her how to prepare for the harsh winters.

Kitchen Wisdom: An Elder Tale

Photo by Takashi .M.

This year I'm summarizing one elder tale per month from various sources.  Usually, the protagonist of a fairy tale is a young person.  However, a handful of tales featuring older heroes have survived, and I think they are worth reading.

This post is part of a series on elder tales.  The main character in an elder tale is an older adult who is the hero or focus of the story. Often the conflict is resolved because of their hard-won wisdom instead of some magical intervention--even if that wisdom is symbolized by a fantastical event or object. 

Below is a summary of an elder tale from Japan that features a mature woman using her wisdom to escape a difficult situation.

Goodbye, Size 4

We've had a good run. G'bye!

Today I'm taking a bag of clothes to the thrift store.   After six months of trying to maintain a girlish figure, I'm giving up.

"Goodbye, Size 4!"

But I've Always Been Small! 

I'm short--just under five feet tall (apx 152 cm).  I was raised by a single mother, and I was the oldest of her three girls.

In the 1970s, my sisters and I shopped at the 5-7-9 store, and we wore small sizes.  Our mother is also small.

I defined my femininity by being petite. I haven't been much for jewelry or make up or manicures. But I was big on weighing as little as possible.

After having children and moving into midlife, I've seen my ideal weight creep up from 102 to 107 to 112.

From what I've read, people don't need to gain weight when they hit midlife. They can exercise, eat right and do a little strength training (weight lifting).

Advanced Style: Film Review

Released May 3, 2014.

I've been reading Ari Seth Cohen's blog Advanced Style for the last three years.  I was delighted when friends gave me his coffee table book last year for my birthday.

Now his documentary is available on DVD for those who missed it in theaters. The film offers 72 minutes of pure delight.

Since Otar Left: Film Review

Released 17 September 2003

Jim, a filmmaker acquaintance of mine, recently recommended Since Otar Left (2003) to me, so I moved it to the top of my viewing list.  The fact that it won the Critics Week Grand Prize at Cannes the year it was released certainly didn't dissuade me from viewing it.

Let me start with the end: I bawled for a good twenty minutes when the movie concluded.  It gave me a greater appreciation for the strengths that older adults often possess -- but that others often fail to acknowledge.

I don't want to spoil the movie.  Just rent it. I will tell you that it's an art house film.  The pacing is slow, and the significant details are more subtle.   It contains an essence of realism, in my opinion, mimicking the way most of us experience life in small details that become significant through reflection.

In an effort to retain the film's power, my review has to be a bit vague.  Let me just draw your attention to a few aspects of the film.

Class and Women Writers

Photo by Filip.

I spent over a decade in college studying English language and literature and then more time than that teaching undergraduates how to read, write, and think critically.

Now that I have left that career to be a gerontologist, I'm reading more books about aging, including a great deal of nonfiction about related topics of caregiving, living with an illness, late-life career changes, economic issues of aging, humor pieces, managing grief and gleaning wisdom and spiritual insight in late life.  

I try to read broadly on the topic of aging, but sometimes I discover big gaps in my reading selections.

Rate of Total Knee Replacements

Edward Ferguson. 

I have a little arthritis in my knees.  At this point, they aren't bothering me enough to seek medical care.

However, many people my age or just older than I are seeking a TKR or total knee replacement.

For these reasons, I decided to look at the rate of total knee replacement for persons in the US.

For an overview of key statistics about knee surgery, see this excellent infographic by Healthline:

May Sarton: Poet

Photo by
Dead Poet's Society of America.

Poets tackles the big, complex themes such as truth, beauty, love and death.  After decades of exploring such themes, poets in late life continue to explore these topics.  The poets work is never done.

April is National Poetry month in the United States.  This gives me an invitation to consider poetry of mature poets.  If you have not had the chance to read poems by May Sarton, I invite you to do so.

Sarton was born in Belgium in 1912, but with war raging in Europe, her family moved to Boston in 1915.  She initially was interested in being an actress but soon turned her talents to writing.

She published fiction and autobiographical nonfiction. However, it's her poetry that is her greatest legacy.  She also taught creative writing at several universities and was a life-long Unitarian.

Here is a sermon by Rev. Peg Boyle Morgan that celebrates Sarton's work and quotes from a number of her poems.

Gender Differences in Midlife / Late Life Spirituality

Photo by Su-chan. 

Are women more naturally spiritual than men? Are older people more spiritual than younger people?  And as a result, are mature women the most spiritual of all?

As a child, I remember seeing the Norman Rockwell picture "Sunday Morning," which depicts a mother marching out the door with three children. They are all dressed in their Sunday best.

In the foreground is the father, slinking into his chair and hiding behind the newspaper. He's in his pajamas, robe and slippers. The lone boy casts an envious glance at his father.

Rockwell is playing off the stereotype that men are more resistant about formal church worship than women. But is there empirical evidence of this?

Perimenopause: What's Going On?

Image by Coffeelatte.

I have long known that night sweats,  mood swings and crying jags were signs of menopause. I also knew that 51 was the average age that women experience menopause.

But I still was blindsided at age 49.5 when the first dramatic symptoms showed up.

It was the fall of 2011.  I was 49 years old, closing in on 50. I had experienced some subtle changes to my cycle for years prior, so I was already describing myself as perimenopausal.

Then the subtlety ended.

Aging Disgracefully

Photo by Generationbass.

Now that I have crossed over into the territory labeled “mature woman,” what is my strategy for facing the challenges of aging?  Am I aging gracefully by being composed and stately?  

Hell no.

I’m mad, and I’m not going down without a fight. My strategy? I plan on fighting dirty, hiding the body, and dressing for excess.

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This post is part of a Generation Fabulous Blog Hop on Aging Gracefully
which is featured in HuffPost 50. I'm there as slide #23.

Here are a few of the many awe-inspiring posts from my fellow bloggers.

Big Little Wolf's Daily Plate of Crazy. "Why Aging Gracefully Doesn't Suit Me"
Middle Aged Diva's "Aging Gracefully: New Definition"

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Street Fighter against Father Time.  Older women have a harder time keeping the weight off than younger women.  Even men have less trouble with weight gain as they age.  I read the 2010 article from the Journal of the American Medical Association reporting on a 13 year study on middle aged women. Researchers found that older women must exercise vigorously for an hour a day to merely maintain their weight. Reading that, I was livid.  I wanted to punch someone in the face.

I am responding by taking out my aggression at the gym.  With every step I take on the treadmill, I imaging trampling Father Time.  He may get me eventually, but I am not going gently into that good night. He’ll have to take me, kicking and screaming (a good cardio workout) the whole way.