Family Reunion with Distant Cousins

 

4th of July 2026 Family Reunion

While I would hope that I can maintain meaningful connections with every member of my extended family, I am realizing that now that I am in my early 60s, not all relatives maintain closeness over time, not even with their first cousins. 

(I'm waving to you, Cathy, as the only exception among my first cousins.) 

I need to do better with accepting that each person chooses to invest with relatives in different degrees of closeness. Even full siblings over time sometime reduce their connection because of distance, day-to-day responsibilities, or reduced shared interests. 

(I am just going to ignore issues such as abuse, grudges, jealousy, and injustices over money and other resources distributed unequally by older relatives. That's too much to cover, and I have zero past drama with any of my first cousins. God bless you, dear reader, if you have to manage such conflicts.) 

The catalyst for this post is a disappointing experience at a family reunion with cousins I had not connected with since the early 1980s. 

Mad Mabel: Book Review

 

Published 1 Oct. 2025

Oh, this was a fun read. I usually do not read thrillers because I find them populated with flat characters and formulaic plot lines. However, I very much enjoyed keeping company with Mad Mabel and a host of other characters. 

Hepworth does a great job fleshing out a complex protagonist.  I happen to think people in late life make very interesting main characters because of the decades of personal experience that inform their personalities. 

Mabel lives in a neighborhood with a handful of interesting people, including a tween named Persephone who insists on forming a friendship with our snarky titular character.  As we get to know Mabel as an older adult, we also get a series of flashbacks that tell out how Mabel earned the moniker "Mad."  When she was younger, she was adjacent to a number of deaths, and she was implicated in them even though she was just a child. 

Over the length of the book, we get some answers about what happened in years gone by, but we also learn more about contemporary Mabel and her neighbors.  It was both suspenseful and heartwarming--which is an interesting mix. 

Maybe I will pick up a few more thrillers that have older adults as the protagonist. 

Related: 

Books on Aging

The In-Between: Book Review

 

Published 13 June 2023

Hadley Vlahos is a hospice nurse.  She goes by Nurse Hadley on social media--in part because she is divorced from Chris Vlahos and now married to Brett Fairley. And I know this because Hadley includes a lot of personal information on her TikTok, Instagram and YouTube accounts. 

Her book does contain a lot of good information about hospice in the form of describing her interaction with a handful of terminal patients and their family members. The best thing about her book is her willingness to share her own journey supporting these people. She also describes them richly as complex and sympathetic people. 

However, the biggest weakness is also her book shifting into memoir at points. I have read and reviewed about fifty books about death, dying, and bereavement. Each one does have a contribution to make to the topic; however, if you are a "just the facts, ma'am" type of reader, Hadley's book will be a bad fit. I do think, however, she makes the topic particularly accessible to younger generations.  

End-of-life concerns is not just an issue for older adults. Death effects everyone. 

Related: 

Books on the Dying Process

Recovery from Rotator Surgery

 

Image from Creative Commons /
Wikimedia 

I am not lifting heavy items anymore because of my injured rotator cuff (right shoulder). 

I have done rehab and recovered about 85% of of the function of that shoulder. I don't need to be carrying huge boxes of books for the library anymore. I can break down loads to smaller bags.  I really do not have the time to do a year-long recovery when I have achieved a lot of function through rehab. 

People keep encouraging me to have surgery, but I am resisting for three reasons:

Note: This post is not offering medical advice. Its aim is to share my individual experience. It might raise some awareness of health issues for others. However, if you have any questions about your health (including but not limited to the shoulder / rotator cuff), please see a licensed medical professional.