The Other 17%: Not All Elders Are Grandparents

 

Image by Tony Alter
via Creative Commons

My children made statements in early 2026 leading me to believe that they are choosing to be child free. Now, this is their decision. Having a child is a huge responsibility, so they need to really want to accept all the roles and responsibilities that come with being a parent. 

I would be lying, however, if I did not admit to the need to "move the furniture around in my head." In other words, the future I have been imaging for myself just radically shifted.  True, I only have two children, but I thought that maybe at least one of them would have one child. Instead, I am going to be a grandparent to cats now and possibly dogs once they can afford a home with a yard.

Did I traumatize them with inadequate parenting to the point that they are dissolution with the relationship?  Ouch.  My heard is full of cement with the thought that my poor choices may have influenced their decision to remain child free.   

I decided to look at some data to see how many older adults in the US are grandparents, and Pew Research indicates that 83% of those 65+ in the US are grandparents.  That makes me part of the 17% that never hold that role.  

The Secret Scripture: Book Review

 

Published 2 April 2008

I have not read very many books set in Ireland, so when I found a review of  The Secret Scripture by Sebastian Barry on Goodreads, I decided to reach back to a book published in 2008. It's notable that this book was shortlisted for the Booker Prize. I was also interested in a protagonist, who was a centenarian, Roseanne (Rose) Clear McNulty, reviewing events from the first quarter of her life. 

The Correspondent: Book Review

 

Published 29 April 2025

Oh, I enjoyed this book. The novel features a woman in her seventies named Sybil Stone Van Antwerp. However, the genre is epistolary, meaning that we read a series of letters that Sybil and a handful of friends, family members, and at times strangers write to each other. Sybil is an avid reader, and some of her correspondents are famous authors, which makes for some fun cameos of sorts. (This is all fiction, however.)  

For me, the more engaging exchanges take place between Sybil and close friends and family members.  Having more than one person comment on past events gives us more than one point of view, and much of the novel's conflicts have to do with these clashes of perception.

Goodbye to Gary, My Mom's Husband

 

Gary M. Lloyd and Donna W. Lloyd
Wedding Reception November 2, 1989

Earlier this month, my mother's husband of thirty-six years was tested positive for influenza. He was already unsteady on his feet due to his normal pressure hydrocephalus. He ended up falling sometime during the first week of January 2026 and was diagnosed with a bi-lateral brain bleed on January 7, 2026.  A week later, he passed peacefully with family at his bedside. A week after that, the family celebrated his life with a viewing and funeral at Berg Mortuary in Provo, Utah prior to an internment in Lehi, Utah. Gary was 91 years old. 

I will remember him for being friendly, diplomatic, dependable, and devout.  He was a great partner to my mother for decades.  

I am providing a copy of his obituary here since it will be behind a firewall at some point: