Empty Nesters and Friendship

Karen, Kim, and Kelly
June 2024

 Yes, my children have launched. They are now 23 and 26. They both left the nest a while ago. However, I am feeling their absence more because I moved to Utah in December of 2023, and my children live in Indianapolis.  

Ouch! 

However, there are some silver linings.  I have more time to connect with some of my friends.  For example, I was able to drive down to Cedar City to see my friend Kim and her sister Kelly. Kim has some grandchildren who live there, so she tries to travel from Orange County to Iron County about once a month. 

I have known these two since the early 1970s when we were tweens all lived in Orange County, California.  We know each others stories, so we can connect very quickly even after significant absences. 

There are too many great quotes about friendship to review. However, here are three that I find help me explore the benefits and the workings of friendship: 

“Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry: Book Review

 

Published 15 Mar 2012

I don't know how this book escaped my attention, but I saw a trailer for the film based on Rachel Joyce's 2012 novel, so I decided to read it.   The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry describes the journey that pensioner Harold Fry takes from the southwest of England (Devon) to the northeast (Northumberland). This is no small matter. It's a trek of over 500 miles. 

Fry kind of stumbled into this exertion.  He had intended just to mail a letter to a former co-worker, so he went out his front door without his phone and with the inadequate pair of deck shoes on his feet.  He finds himself lost in thought, so he decided to walk to the town post office, only to decide to walk the entire distance to see his former co-worker, Queenie Hennessy, who is in a hospice dying of cancer. 

The book does describe the English countryside and a number of characters whom Fry meets. However, the primary task of the novel is a life review for Fry. He spends those hours walking thinking about his life: his childhood, his career in sales at a brewery (from which he has retired), his marriage, his son David.  

Apparition of Arran: An Elder Tale from Scotland

 

Tree arch and bridge near Shiskine
on the Isle of Arran, Scotland
Image by Andy Jamieson via Creative Commons

I have joined a discussion group where most of the participants are college professors or members of the foreign service.  In late May of 2024, I was charged by leading a discussion. I decided to talk about psychological models of growth in late life using elder tales as illustrations of those points. 

(See Related below for some details about the psychologists / psychiatrists that I referenced.)

I ended up sharing about eight tales, many of which are retold here on this blog. (Again, see Related for the root post about elder tales.)  However, I had not yet retold this tale from Scotland. 

I enjoy it because it demonstrates resiliency in the protagonist. It also illustrates how older adults who have achieved wisdom are more comfortable with the topic of death and the notion of having a connection with those who are already deceased. 

But enough of the "explaining." Let me just retell this tale, which I found in this 1999 collection by Jane Yolen: Gray Heroes: Elder Tales from around the World. Penguin Books. 

Image by Brianann MacAmhlaidh
via Creative Commons

85th Birthday Celebration on Mother's Day

 

Donna Webb Lloyd's
85th Birthday

I was born in Utah, and I attended college in Utah, but I haven't lived here since the early 1990s.  I often miss family milestones. However, I live just 90 miles away from where we celebrated my mother's 85th birthday this year.  

It was a great blessing to attend.  

My mother and step-father live in an assisted living center. They moved there in the fall of 2019.  I have five step-brothers, and four of them also live in Utah (but not in the same county).