Mom and Me - June 1965. |
Photo by trec_lit |
She just didn't teach me to identify the basics: cup, water, shoe, banana. Over the years, she taught me to name and label things I couldn't hold in my hand: love, pain, divinity, irony.
My mother has a keen mind, and she's a lifelong student. Even when she quit her job teaching home economics to raise me and my two sisters, she still read voraciously, wrote in her journal, talked to like-minded friends and in all ways scrutinized the world around her.
At midlife, she returned to school and got a master's degree in a completely unrelated field, humanities. I ended up doing the same: first studying English and then at midlife getting a master's in the unrelated field, aging studies.
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This is part of a blog hop by the wonderful 50+ women at Generation Fabulous.
24 of our 60 posts appear in a slideshow at HuffPost50
In a week, the links at the end of this post will disappear, so here are a few favorites:
24 of our 60 posts appear in a slideshow at HuffPost50
In a week, the links at the end of this post will disappear, so here are a few favorites:
After the Kids Leave (Karen & Wendy): Quotes from Chairman Mum
My View through Kat Eyes: Mom's Legacy of Love
My Creative Journey (Connie McLoud): Wild Woman (bawdy alert!)
My View through Kat Eyes: Mom's Legacy of Love
My Creative Journey (Connie McLoud): Wild Woman (bawdy alert!)
DameNation (Donna Highfill) Yes, My Mom Hit My Dad with a Hymnal
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From my mother, I learned that it's impossible to name something without analyzing it at the same time. This act of analysis has been her most salient gift to me.
Photo of Keller by uppityrib |
I remember as a fifth grader reading the biography of Helen Keller, amazed at how Anne Sullivan taught Helen as a child her first word "water."
Naming objects allowed Helen to move into an abstract plane where language made her capable of higher thought.
As a tween I pulled down the copy of Carl Jung's Man and His Symbols from my mother's bookshelf. It set my world on fire. No longer was a story featuring a crow merely about a crow. The bird could be a symbol for night, trickery, death, or even the divine force carrying the sun across the sky.
When I started college, I first majored in elementary education. However, I found myself taking more English classes than required. I finally changed my major. Equipped with the ability to read, write and think critically, I could name and label the world around me--gaining greater control over any subject that might cross my path during my life course.
In graduate school, my Adam-like power to name all objects in the world came to a stop. I was paying tuition in part to name the world, to have dominion over it. Ironically, grad school taught me that the power to name has its limits.
Photo of Foucault by Abode of Chaos |
This was further illustrated by Michel Foucault's The Order of Things, which was a book that I hoped would expand my power. No. Foucault demystifies the work of academics.
In his preface he quotes Borges' fantastical taxonomy for animals, which illustrates how absurd are our own categories for things:
Animals are divided into: a) belonging to the Emperor, b) embalmed, c) tame, d) sucking pigs, e) sirens, f) fabulous, g) stray dogs, h) included in the present classification, i) frenzied, j) innumerable, k) drawn with a very fine camelhair brush, l) et. cetera m) having just broken he water pitcher, n) that from a long way off look like flies. (p. xv)As I fell out of Eden and into a world beyond language, I found myself taking refuge in yoga, zen buddhist meditations and literature, particularly poetry.
I was trying to find a world never named by my mother, but one that she's probably inhabited given some of the hardships that she's faced. Part of what I needed to learn could not be handed down through abstractions. I had to walk in silence down some rough roads myself.
In the pages of literature, I found another woman experiencing this same fall from the abstract to the particular. In Charles Frazier's Cold Mountain, the heroine Ada falls from her heights as a wealthy, well-educated debutante. The war-torn South transforms her into a dirt-digging survivalist. Ada loses almost everything--but she still manages to find some things as well.
In the chapter "A Satisfied Mind," Ada no longer sees nature functioning as a symbol pointing to a hidden realm.
Photo by John Curley |
As I type this, my eleven-year-old daughter--fresh from washing her hair--asks me, "Momma. Is it called a hair dryer or a blow dryer?" I smile but do not answer her.
Earlier today we looked up ways to name and label (and consequently analyze) various types of fingerprints: arch, loop, whorl. After I finish this post, I'll use my fingertips to massage her scalp, soothing her to sleep the way my mother would stroke my hair when I was a sleepy little girl.
And I will imagine for my daughter a future where she can name and label much of this world. With my hands placed lightly on her head, I silently bless her so that she she can live through nameless challenges and embrace nameless joys.
This is a blog hop! Here are posts by other bloggers on the same topic. Enjoy.
Wonderful piece, Karen.
ReplyDeleteThis is thought provoking, Karen. I love naming things, and had not truly thought about the analysis that goes into that. Very interesting.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading, Amy and fadedginger. I try to keep these around 400, but this topic is a major theme in my life (and my mother's life), so I went long. Gulp. I tried to break up the text with pics and with bold print, to make it easier to digest. Again, you were very kind to read!
ReplyDeleteYou're like me Karen! Analyze it to death....
ReplyDeleteI love the places you took me to in this post. Thanks for sharing your insight and viewpoint.
ReplyDeleteI'm currently reading a book you might like on this subject (quite likely you've already read it): The Alphabet Versus The Goddess by Leonard Shlain. It's bloging my mind in the way your post did.
LLC: Always! LLL: Oh, that book by Shlain looks GREAT! I just put it on my "To Read" shelf at Goodreads. Our local library has a copy, so I'll get my hands on it after final conclude. Thanks for the tip.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, thought-provoking post, Karen. There are times when, like Ada, my mind goes blank, and a thing is just a thing. It took me years to get to that point. I'm sure I still have tons to learn.
ReplyDeleteBarbara: Ah, you can do the "blank" thing. It shouldn't be so hard, but it takes me awhile to turn off all the chatter.
DeleteWhat a brilliant piece . . . it made me yearn to learn something new. What an amazing mother . . . and daughter. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm a pretty big book geek...which I know I learned from my mother. Thanks for reading.
DeleteLovely lovely lovely
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by the blog!
DeleteI never thought about it, but it is usually the women who do the naming, isn't it? I enjoyed reading this and thinking about things in a new light.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading my ramblings. Yes, moms name the world for their kids. Who knew?
DeleteMy mom too instilled my love of words and books. She said that if she hadn't become an kindergarten teacher, she would've been a librarian...instead she turned our home into a children's library.
ReplyDeleteHow great that you grew up in a home with a lot of books. Hooray for your mom.
DeleteBrilliant. I love the movement through analysis and out the other side into being. We overly cerebral academic types tend to have a hard time with that. I was reminded of the Khamit Tree of Life with Sebek (namer, analyzer, wit) occupying the 8th position on the tree, and Tahuti (wise knower) occupying the 2nd. Loved reading about your lifelong process of coming to wise knowing and your mother's role in that.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the info on Sebek and Tahuti. That's cool. (And thanks for reading/commenting.)
DeleteThe life lesson that carries an image of ourselves as lifelong learners is the most valuable of any I can recall. Your mother must be very remarkable.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the new career. I admire you so much.
b+
Thanks for coming over to read and comment. How marvelous that Ari Seth Cohen mentioned your blog on Advanced Style. Cool for sure.
DeleteBeautiful post,Karen.
ReplyDeleteLove this! You are so much like your mother, Karen, another important link in a strong maternal chain that makes up a growing legacy. Did your mother take after her mother or her father?
ReplyDeleteTanya: Neither! Her father was a farmer, starting out plowing with a horse, and he read only church books and loved John Wayne movies. He was very grounded, devout and practical. Her mother was very service oriented and kept a smoothly running home--kitchen garden, sewing, caring for milk cows, chickens and kids. . My maternal g'ma was kind hearted and tender but not academic. My mom had to find her own way as a very abstract thinker and an artist type in a very practical environment. It took her a very long time to claim her own voice, but she's been very committed to her own world view by midlife.
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