In Search of Sages

M. E. Brockman (L) and T. S. Hill (R)
United Nations photo via Creative Commons

I am teaching Late Life and Spirituality this semester. We are reading Holly Nelson-Becker's 2018 textbook Spirituality, Religion, and Aging: Illuminations for Therapeutic Practice. (Sage Publications, Inc.). In addition to taking quizzes, my students are writing short reports on living sages, aged 60 plus. 

Initially, I let them select the sages. However, they were mainly choosing actors who are cast as sages in major motion pictures. All of my students are in the traditional college age group (18 to 25). I have a feeling that they restrict themselves to interacting with young adults, so it was nearly impossible for them to identify living sages. 

Here are some of the people I suggested that they study as living sages who are 60 plus years old: 

Wendell Berry, conservationist
Fr. Greg Boyle, activist, intervening with gang members
Jimmy Carter, activist with Habitat for Humanity and Council of Elders

Pema Chodron, devotional writer
Daniel Dennett, cognitive scientist
Pope Francis, religious leader

Posts by KDA hosted by Segullah

 

Sometimes I want to find a post published on the blog Segullah, and there isn't an easy way for me to search for posts by authors.  I must note that there are several writers who are more gifted than I am.  

Many of the women who write for Segullah write with greater lyricism, insight, and spirit.  

Nevertheless, sometimes I want to reread one of my posts there (to witness to my own better angels). I often give myself great advice; now if I would only follow it consistently. 

Segullah is a faith-based blog where women often write in a way that blends details from their daily lives with quotes or allusions to scriptures and other devotional writing as well to references to literature and culture--high culture and low culture.  

(The shared faith is through membership within or proximity to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.) 

So a Segullah post may refer to Jesus, Jane Austin, burnt cookies, and Lisa Simpson. 

2023 Posts: Ongoing--or Transitioning to New Faith-Based Projects?

112. February 17, https://segullah.org/blog/traits-of-come-follow-me-podcasts/

111. January 20, 2023 https://segullah.org/daily-special/free-range-saint/

2022 Posts: My favorite 2022 post is the one published in June

110. November 18, 2022 https://segullah.org/daily-special/promoting-unity-through-interfaith-interpath-efforts/

109. October 21, 2022 https://segullah.org/daily-special/parables-read-from-multiple-perspectives/

108. August 12, 2022 https://segullah.org/daily-special/free-range-saint/

107 July 15, 2022  https://segullah.org/blog/inspiration-in-a-vocation-al-setting/

Photo by Teton via Creative Commons

106. June 17, 2022. https://segullah.org/daily-special/loving-a-person-with-npd-can-you-hug-a-porcupine/

105. May 20, 2022.  https://segullah.org/daily-special/agency-and-stewardships-challenged-by-dementia/

104. February 18, 2022. https://segullah.org/daily-special/comfort-in-those-in-need-of-comfort-dump-out/

103. January 21, 2022. https://segullah.org/daily-special/looking-for-living-sages-diverting-from-diversions-to-roads-less-taken/ 

2021 Posts: My favorite 2021 post is the one published in April

102. December 17, 2021 https://segullah.org/daily-special/teaching-nursery-children-about-the-nativity/

101. November 19, 2021 https://segullah.org/daily-special/addressing-halloween-impoliteness-increase-compassion/ 

100. October 15, 2021 https://segullah.org/daily-special/elder-kopischke-prayer-alone-cannot-address-many-mental-health-needs/

On the Brink of Everything: Book Review

Published 26 June 2018. 

Palmer J. Palmer was goaded into publishing this book--On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity, & Getting Old (2018)--after his editor noted the theme of aging showing up in his recent writings. 

From his vantage point on "the brink" or the edge, Palmer observes: 

"What I know for sure is this: we come from mystery and we return to mystery. I know this, too: standing closer to the reality of death awakens my wonder at the many gifts of life" (p. 16). 

This book shares insights based on his growing awareness of his own mortality. 

Palmer is in his 80s, and has been a community organizer, author, speaker on the the topic of seeking the true self. (His work reminds me a bit of the quest that psychologist Carl Rogers describes.) 

Those who are concrete, literal, practical people will have very little patience for Palmer. Those who are contemplative, idealistic, and focused on exploring inner landscapes will be inspired. 

The book is a collection of essays (some previously published in books or on blogs) and poetry. Some material is new. Other reviews here at Goodreads indicate that the book revisits recurring themes in Parker's work, so it seems as though it's a good overview of his work. 

Gracious Uncertainty: Book Review

Published 15 August 2017.

Jane Sigloh, who has experience as an Episcopal priest, published Gracious Uncertainty: Faith in the Second Half of Life (2017).

Because I am scheduled to teach Spirituality and Aging in the upcoming fall semester, I'm selecting 20 books on that topic so that each of my students can do a report to supplement the textbook.

Many of the books are tipped either to theology or to folk wisdom. However, too many of the books I've selected are steeped in theology (or even psychology or New Age theories).

Sigloh's book leans more towards the folk wisdom side of the spectrum. However, it's clear that she is well read and can take a more academic approach. She often chooses to be more accessible, and it's a strength.

Her chapters are brief, maybe three or four pages long, making them ideal as daily meditations. They might also serve as prompts for writing in a journal.

Aging with Wisdom: Book Review

Published November 14, 2017. 

Since her forties, Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle has collected quotes, stories, and her own thoughts in a file labeled "Aging and Wisdom."

In her late seventies, this project came to fruition as a 2017 book, Aging with Wisdom: Reflections, Stories & Teachings.

The insights from this book, of course, are drawn from a broader source than a manila file folder.

Hoblitzelle has experience as a therapist, writer, and speaker. She draws from both Western and Eastern traditions, from quests of the mind and of the body.

The result is a book that conveys a tone of "Softness and Ease" (one of her chapter titles) that also offers quiet strength on how to negotiate the Second Half of life.

Summarizing the book proves challenging since the book serves as a catalyst for individual meditation.

I found myself reading some passages slowly. This allowed me to review events from my life in light of the chapter before me. Some of the sections address age-related challenges and opportunities I have yet to encounter. Consequently, I hope to reread this book as my life situation shifts over the coming decades.

Natural Causes: Book Review

Published April 10, 2018.

Barbara Ehrenreich loans her considerable talent to the question, "How much control do we have over our longevity?"

The result is her April 10, 2018 book, Natural Causes: An Epidemic of Wellness, the Certainty of Dying, and Killing Ourselves to Live Longer.

As a gerontologist and a self-professed health nut, I was attentive to her claim that we have a lot less control over our health than we (middle class people from industrialized nations) like to admit.

Her first few chapters describe the escalating number of diagnostic tools and treatments.

Increased health is primarily available to those with health insurance and the means to pay for premiums, co-pays, and deductibles--as well as to those who can go the extra mile and pay for gym memberships, meditation programs and organic produce.

But does throwing money at the aging body really result in longevity? Ehrenreich argues that it does not.

Ageless Soul: Book Review

Published October 10, 2017.

Many books about aging focus on the physical and financial dimensions of aging. Not many book-length works focus on the spiritual dimension of aging--or how the self transcends the vicissitudes of time.

Fortunately, Thomas Moore (b. 1940) wrote Ageless Soul: The Lifelong Journey Toward Meaning and Joy (St. Martin's Press, 2017).  

He has written 19 books, his most famous being The Care of the Soul (1992).

In Ageless Soul, Moore focuses on how older adults can transform the challenges of late life into opportunities to develop and express the most enduring element of our nature--our soul.  

"Aging is a challenge, not an automatic activity. You go through passages, from one state to another. You become somebody. Faced with a challenge, you choose to live through the obstacle rather than avoid it. You make the decision to be in process and to participate actively" (p. 285). 

Yes, Moore spent many years as a monk, but his book isn't squarely a work of devotional literature; it reads most often like a self-help book. 

The Lady in the Van: Film Review

Release date: December 4, 2015.

Maggie Smith--yet again--gives a stellar performance.

This time, Smith plays Mary Shepherd, the titular character in the 2015 film The Lady in the Van.

This film is based on real events experienced by author, playwright, screenwriter Alan Bennett. Readers are probably most familiar with his work as a screenwriter on The Madness of King George (1994), based on his play.

Bennett first knew Shepherd in the late 1960s as a vagrant who would park her broken down van on the streets of his neighborhood in Camden (outside of London).

Bennett's character is played by Alex Jennings, and the film is shot on the same street and the same house where the events took place.

In order to prevent her van from being towed, he let her park in his driveway.

She stayed for 15 years.

Over those many years, Bennett and Shepherd have an uneasy relationships. She is moody and irrational. She's not clean. She exhibits signs of paranoia. She's bossy and argumentative.  Nevertheless, Bennett ends up helping her in significant ways. However, he protests that he does so not out of kindness but because he's timid.

On Living: Book Review

Published Oct. 25, 2016.

Kerry Egan draws on her experience as a hospice chaplain to share stories about how illness and dying highlight people's values.

Some might expect her to offer sermons about the place of religion in people's lives. She doesn't do that.  Instead, she demonstrates the healing power of narrative.

Egan observes that chaplains do the following work:

"We listen to the stories that people believe have shaped their lives. We listen to the stories people choose to tell, and the meaning they make of those stories."

Those who are sick and dying often find great insight in telling the story of their life. Egan focuses on maintaining an attitude of love and compassionate listening as people work to make meaning of their lives by sharing stories.

People talk about their childhoods, their life's work, their families, and most often their desire to love and be loved.

The Measure of Maturity: Quote

Click to enlarge photo by Kelley Boone modified by KDA.

Currently, I'm experiencing a lot of conflict and change in my life.

My previous responses to similar situations have been to rant, complain, throw things, or feed addictions such as shopping and eating.

I've had enough experience now that I can see that these responses will just expend a lot of energy and produce no results.

Or even worst, these responses will just create additional problems.

Consequently, I am adopting self-soothing practices that are more productive: moderate exercise, devotional reading, meditation, deep cleaning, and even just losing myself in my day-to-day responsibilities.

While looking through my cache of age-related quotes, I found the following served me at this time:

"Maturity is the ability to think, speak and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity. The measure of your maturity is how spiritual you become during the midst of your frustrations."

Samuel Ullman (1840-1924), American businessman, poet, and humanitarian.

I currently live in Kansas, so I'm using this image: I hope to survive like a country church endures on a stormy prairie.

Related:

Books on Aging and Spiritual Growth
Quantifying Wisdom
Am I Old or Am I Young? Quote

Religion and Spirituality Influences Geriatric Medicine

Photo by Phil Warren.

I was interested to read a scholarly article on the influence of religion and spirituality on aging.

The academic journal Gerontologist published this an article in 2013 by a team of researchers from the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Duke University.

These researchers reviewed several articles that explained the implications to a broad range of professions and academic disciplines: geriatric medicine, geriatric psychiatry, psychology in gerontology, sociology, theology and religious community practices,

Their entire article interests me, but it's too much to discuss in one post.

Consequently, I chose the most practical findings, the benefits of religion and spirituality to physical health or the section on geriatric medicine. 

The researchers looked at the effects of religion and spirituality on 1) mental health 2) health behaviors and lifestyle choices, and 3) attitudes towards illness.

Still Here: Book Review

Published June 1, 2000.

When I was in my early 40s, I hit the wall after being very achievement oriented. I started practicing yoga and reading zen Buddhist meditations.

During my quest, someone suggested that I read Be Here Now (1971) by Ram Dass. While it was a bit "far out" for me, I did appreciate his alternative views on reality and his focus on consciousness.

The year I turned 50, I discovered his documentary Fierce Grace (2001), which describes the insights he gained and after suffering a stroke in his mid 60s.

Even though a related book was published before his documentary, it took me a few years before I read: Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying. (2000).

The Grace in Aging: Book Review

Published 5 August 2014.

I'm going to review this book before I fully digest it. Let me explain.

In The Grace in Aging: Awaken as You Grow Older, Kathleen Dowling Singh presents a series of meditations that invites people in midlife and late life to become mindful about the aging process.

Singh has a rich background as a transpersonal psychologist, hospice worker, and frequent lecturer on the spiritual aspects of dying.  She grew up Catholic and then left the faith to study Buddhism. She now resists that label--or any other. "I guess at this point I don't see a need for a label."

Her writing draws from wisdom literature from a variety of traditions.  Her book requires slow reading with frequent pauses for meditation, journaling and transformation of thoughts, attitudes and behaviors.

Women's Voices on Spirituality & Aging

Photo by Alberto G.

Yesterday I scoured through the list of books I've read in the last five years, pulling together a subset of books on spirituality and aging.

After I finished the list of 8 books that fit squarely in that category, I was astonished to see only one female author among them.

Where are the women writing about spirituality and aging?

Women's Voices on Caregiving

I do agree with the French feminists that women tend to write more grounded works and tend to write from the body and from personal experience.  It follows that spirituality would be grounded in daily tasks of relating to other people in the domestic sphere.

In other words, we find the divine by serving one another through human interaction more than by solitary meditations.

A number of the dementia memoirs I've read have applied theology in them, particularly Debra Shouse's Love in the Land of Dementia (2013).

Books on Aging & Spiritual Growth

Photo by King of Monks.

After spending decades journeying through life, many people end up gaining great spiritual insight. The cliche about elders being wise holds true for many older adults.

Because the generations are more isolated from each other in industrialized nations than they are in traditional cultures, this hard-won wisdom isn't always present in every home.

Fortunately, a number of insightful people in midlife and late life are writing books that offer thought-provoking commentary on how to respond to life's challenges--including challenges that are often correlated with late life: illness, death of loved ones, loss of employment. 

But advanced age is not all decay.  Our youth-obsessed culture often reads it as such, missing out on the strengths of a half-century-plus view of life. 

Here are a few books that I have read that contain insight found after 50--listed in reverse chronology by publication date.

(Last Updated April 2018)

Falling Upward: Book Review

Published January 1, 2011.

I've been reading more intentionally about the second half of life for the past four years.

Recently, I've been choosing books from Changing Aging's recommended list of books that depict aging as a period of growth and development. 

This week, I've been reading Richard Rohr's Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life (Jossey-Bass 2011). 

Rohr describes life as having two distinct and opposing tasks. 

The first half of life is dedicated to building a self that is based on goals, accomplishments and ego.  

But many people end up learning how short-sighted life is when defined this way. Consequently, many adopt the task in the second half of life of transcending narcissism, accomplishments, material security and the vanities of the temporal world.  

Maslow Is a Liar

I see beauty in chaos in this photo by J.E.F.

Introduction to psychology courses nearly always include some attention to Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

From the start of the life span, people usually master each of these needs in ascending order.

People establish physical needs, then social needs and finally more abstract needs, such as self-actualization.

As we age, however, we do not reduce our lives in order from the highest needs down to the most basic needs.  Before I studied gerontology, I expected to see an orderly movement in reverse order as people age.

The aging process is more chaotic than I imagined.

Each person's aging process is unique to them.   And even though some patterns in how people age might emerge in large studies, the aging process of just one person is largely unpredictable.

However, the more I interact with older adults, the more I observe how people can hold onto higher order tasks--spirit, beauty, knowledge and relationships--even as their bodies start to betray them.

Maslow's Hierarchy fails to serve as a model for the aging process.

Exercise Enlightens

Photo by Raja Sambaslvan.

Going to the gym gives me a good workout--body, mind and soul. If I get myself to the gym, I improve my physical fitness, my cognition, and my peace of mind.

It took me a while to recognize that the gym at time offers me spiritual enlightenment. It's not just the endorphins talking.  The gym offers some insights about life when I take the time to notice.

Photo by Bob Cotter.

1. We are all equal at the gym.  All people are equal when faced with fundamental tasks such as walking on a treadmill.

It doesn't matter how old we are, where we live, how much education we have, or what we do for a living.  The only question is this: can I move my feet to keep pace?

From time to time, I look around at all the people on the cardio machines or all the people in the exercise class and feel great unity with them. We are all united in our quest for greater physical fitness.

I sometimes want to break out in song.  But that would spoil the moment, so I just note the swelling in my heart and smile.

At 80, the Past Is Now

Photo "Time & Tide"  by Seriykotik1970.

I find it very powerful to read what seasoned writers have to say from their vantage point.

As an older poet who has suffered a stroke, Sarton writes poems that are minimal "because my life is reduced to essences" (p. 11).  I find great beauty in the images she draws from her home located on the coast of York, Maine.

In the poem below, May Sarton resists living solely in the present moment:

May Sarton's poem "The Tides":

The Tides

I pretend
To live in the present.
Now is what I crave,
Finches at the feeder,
Sunlight on a rose.

But memory
The relentless tide
Suddenly brings alive
A forgotten moment
With such fright
Of passionate grief in it
I cry out
Alone.

The past is Now.
The tide rises and falls.
There is no shutting it out.

(Published 1994 by May Sarton b. 1912 in the collection Coming Into Eighty.)

At 80, this truism shared about "living in the moment" falls apart for Sarton.  Why?

Time collapses when you age--or so reports my mother and my Uncle Gerald along with Sarton.

More Examples of Time Collapsing

The film Ladies in Lavender (2004) depicts this phenomenon of time collapsing as does the novel The Stone Angel by Margeret Laurence. I have also read about this conflation of time in the writings of Ram Dass, Bill Plotkin and Lars Tornstam.

An earlier post on Transcending Age describes Tornstam's theory of gerotranscendence, which includes the observation that some older adults have "a more holistic view of time with the past, present and future sometimes merging together."

In my twenties, I got a little preview of the conflation of past, present and future while reading T.S. Eliot's Four Quartets. Reading Sarton's poem nudges me to dig up a copy of Eliot's poem (which is a grouping of four poems).  I suspect she's alluding to him, given she chooses a rose as the flower she's regarding during a reverie about memory and time.

I don't often reread literature, but some works can totally change meaning based on generational perspective. 

I found this to be true with Hamlet, King Lear, Pride and Prejudice, and The Death of Ivan Ilych. Rereading these works at midlife changed the meanings significantly from when I first read them when I was a young adult. I need to reread Four Quartets next.

In the mean time, I will hold Sarton in my mind's eye as she sits by the sea.

She flickers before me--at once as a child full of wonder, a midlife poet publishing at a phenomenal rate, and a mature woman creating simply beautiful poems based on her decades' of experience.

Sarton helps me see how we all sit on the edge of eternity if we would only slow down enough--the way poets do--to see it all around us.

Related:

Transcending Age
May Sarton: Poet
Novels about Mature Men Facing Death

The Gift of Years: A Review

Published January 1, 2008. 

Aging provides opportunities for growth, and Chittister describes numerous ways people can develop during late life.

Her book The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully is a series of meditations on the following topics:

Intro:The Purpose of Life, Regret, Meaning, Fear, Ageism, Joy, Authority, Transformation, Newness, Accomplishment, Possibility, Adjustment, Fulfillment, Mystery, Relationships, Tale-Telling, Letting Go, Learning, Religion, Freedom, Success, Time, Wisdom, Sadness, Dreams, Limitations, Solitude, Productivity, Memories, Future, Agelessness, Immediacy, Nostalgia, Spirituality, Loneliness, Forgiveness, Outreach, The Present, Appreciation, Faith, Legacy, Afterword: The Twilight Time.

I recommend just one chapter a week, taking one page a day and thinking about the implications of the ideas. The author doesn't provide a lot of specifics. The book is mainly a set of abstractions. However, they can bear fruit if readers generate their own examples.