Late Life Happiness Boost: U Shaped Happiness Curve

 

Image by Smithsonian Institute
via Creative Commons

There are many researchers of the human life span that question the phenomenon of a "Midlife Crisis." However, there are researchers seeking to establish that people tend to experience a dip in happiness in midlife that creates a U shape: measurable happiness in ones 20s, a dip in their 30s to 50s, and a boost in their 60s and 70s.  

The Economist published a 2010 article. There is a paywall, but you can view a graphic that illustrates the concept. 

Midlife is a time where many adults are overburdened with responsibilities: they are trying to work for promotions; they have children at home who need their time and attention; they are trying to adjust expectations for their marriages, which can lead to divorce or newly negotiated roles within the family system; they are comparing their visions for their life with the realities of their life; they are hitting their limitations, which not only includes financial limitations but limitations to their character and health. 

Managing expectations vs. reality is sobering if not terrifying. 

From the Stage to the Page

Photo by Jorg Schubert.

I don't want to write too much about this because I'm trying to be positive. However, I want to document a shift that I'm experiencing at midlife.

I am shifting away from being an outgoing person in social settings to being largely absent.

Jessie's Empty Nest in Toy Story 2

Photo by Jeff Christiansen.

Toy Story 2 was released in 1999, which was during a time between the births of my two children. 

As they moved through their childhood, we watched the film at home several times to their delight..

The first five times I watched Toy Story 2 with my young children, I focused on Emily.

That character demonstrated how my children were moving through stages of childhood and leaving childhood things behind.

Then when my children became tweens and teens, I didn't watch this film at all.

Now my children are launching into adulthood.

My son moved to Nevada a year and a half ago, and I haven't seen him at all during this time. My daughter is a senior in high school.

Intellectually, I understand that they need to establish their own lives. I've been teaching university classes and running academic support services since the 1980s. During these several decades, I've been self-righteously telling parents who visit campus to "let go."

Experiencing an emptying nest myself is more emotional than I anticipated. 

Evansville Hosts the Aging Avengers

Photo of Aging Avengers L-R Nate, Jennifer, Kyrié, & Samite courtesy of
 University of Southern Indiana Photography & Multimedia. 

Evansville, Indiana enjoyed the opportunity of hosting Dr. Bill Thomas and other Aging Avengers on Monday, November 6, 2017.

The visit was organized by University of Southern Indiana's Center of Healthy Aging and Wellness, but adults of all ages from the broader tristate (IN, IL, KY) community attended. The venue was USI's beautiful, nearly 300 seat Performance Center.

This was a return trip for Dr. Bill Thomas, given that he was a keynote speaker at the 10th Annual Mid-America Institute on Aging and Wellness. Evansville and the tristate were thrilled to have him return with an intergenerational team of people who hold positive views about aging.

Dr. Ann White, dean of USI's
College of Nursing and Health Professions,
welcomes attendees.

The day consisted of three events:

* Disrupt Dementia in the afternoon
* Life's Most Dangerous Game in the evening
* Lobby Experience in between

All events encourage people to radically redefining aging. The benefits are not just for older adults.

By recognizing the life stage of elderhood, every generation benefits by working together to improve the greater society. 

Home for an Emptying Nester

Photo by Greeblie.

I have been a little quiet on the blog lately.

Why? Change is in the air.

We are moving from Kansas to Indiana this summer, so I've been preoccupied.

Instead of reading about aging, I have been using my computer time to scout neighborhoods and high schools for my youngest.  After I post this, I'm getting driving to the city of Evansville to explore it in person.

I am having trouble deciding where to live and what kind of home to buy.

Downtown holds appeal because I can attend cultural events and have easy access to the public library and YMCA. There are also more volunteer opportunities and employment opportunities in town.

If we buy a home in a suburban neighborhood ideal for teens, that works well--for just three years. That is a very long time for a teen but a blink of the eye for a couple in their fifties.

So do I do what's best for them now? Or best for the parents down the road? Or do we move after three years?

I'm hoping to find a neighborhood that is somewhere in between downtown and the suburb high school that appeals to my youngest.

Related

Plotkin Describes Life Stages

Midlife Ennui

Photo by LS Monocicio.

I've been very detached lately.  Low energy.

I do suffer a little seasonal depression in January and February.

However, this time I perceive a little generational perspective.

"Been there, done that."

"Nothing new under the sun."

I've cycled through a number of obsessions. I've been passionate about a lot of things.  Consequently, everything seems to be a repetition of something I've already experienced.  I don't have any drive.

This is probably a first world problem, or a landed gentry 19th Century problem. For this reason, I'm thinking of a word that reached its peak in the era of drawing rooms and salons:

Ennui -- from the same origin as "annoyed."

Both words are condensed from a phrase:

mihi in odio est  

You might see the root for "odious" there. Loosely translated, it means "It's distasteful to me."

Listless, languid, restless, bored.

I'm hoping spring snaps me out of this condition.  I certainly don't wish that tragedy does.

In the meantime, here is one of the neologisms from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.  I applaud the John Koenig for creating new words for complex feelings.

(Click on the image below for a link to the video.)

Old Men Can't Jump, But They Can Score

Photo by Redtail Panther.

Last week I was walking the track at the YMCA. Below the track are two basketball courts.

Because it was lunchtime on a weekday, several people were playing pick-up basketball.

I enjoyed seeing if shirts or skins were shooting at each court as I briskly walked past the hoops.

They seemed to be working hard and having a good time.

After the lunch hour was over and the games concluded, most of the players left--presumably to return to their jobs.

However, three players stayed behind to practice shooting.  Two young adults and a midlife man.

Born in 1962

Photos from Creative Commons.
See below for links to specific photo credits.

I'm always interested to hear how people my own age are doing.

Logically, I know that people are so diverse from one another that I'm not going to observe meaningful patterns or draw valid parallels.

Nevertheless, keeping an eye on my age mates gives me some gauge of how I'm moving through time.

Consequently, I've decided to make a list of people born in 1962.

See this related post: B. 1954-64:
Chasing the Older Boomers

Wikipedia does have such a list, but it includes thousands of people from several countries and notable for a variety of achievements.

Admittedly, I don't recognize the vast majority of these notable people.  Trying to read every entry on that list proved overwhelming.

A list of  75 people my age seems more than adequate, but did I miss someone famous?

I admit to selecting those whom I recognize.  If I missed a notable person while researching, inform me in the comments.

All my best to you, age mates!

Causes of Death in the US for those 55-64

Photo by Steven Feather.

Over the last 100 years, Americans have increased their life expectancy significantly.

Some of the credit for this is due to improvements in public sanitation, the availability of inoculations, and improvements in prevention and early intervention.

People used to die much younger from heart disease, cancers and diabetes.  Now medical treatments allow people to avoid these diseases or to live much longer with these diseases.

While not a very cheery topic, looking at rates of death motivates me to work on prevention through healthy lifestyle choices and by seeking regular medical care.

The National Vital Statistics Report lists causes of death in the US during 2010 for a number of age ranges.  The report also breaks down the data by gender and race.

The Oak: Poem

Photo by
Bob Gutowski.

I'm interested in poetry that focuses on aging.  Here Tennyson uses the four seasons to describe how people experience life stages.

The Oak

Live thy Life,
Young and old,
Like yon oak,
Bright in spring,
Living gold;

Summer-rich
Then; and then
Autumn-changed
Sober-hued
Gold again.

All his leaves
Fall'n at length,
Look, he stands,
Trunk and bough
Naked Strength.

~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

Grateful for Aging

An aging flower still has beauty. Photo by Theen Moy.

 When I decided to study gerontology five years ago, my intent was to combat aging as a formidable foe.  After 20-30 hours a week focused on the topic of aging, I'm often grateful to be getting older.

This post was a part of a Midlife Boulevard blog hop. I'm saved a handful for future reference. Enjoy! 

Mithra @findernotkeeper writes at The Bubble Joy about her parents hosting large dinners
Kathy @gottgreen writes at SmartLiving365 about reasons (5) people  have for not being grateful. 

Carol @ccassara writes about how to thank others for ill-chosen gifts. 

This Thanksgiving season gives me occasion to explain what I mean.  Let me list the blessings of aging:

Women's Voices on Spirituality & Aging

Photo by Alberto G.

Yesterday I scoured through the list of books I've read in the last five years, pulling together a subset of books on spirituality and aging.

After I finished the list of 8 books that fit squarely in that category, I was astonished to see only one female author among them.

Where are the women writing about spirituality and aging?

Women's Voices on Caregiving

I do agree with the French feminists that women tend to write more grounded works and tend to write from the body and from personal experience.  It follows that spirituality would be grounded in daily tasks of relating to other people in the domestic sphere.

In other words, we find the divine by serving one another through human interaction more than by solitary meditations.

A number of the dementia memoirs I've read have applied theology in them, particularly Debra Shouse's Love in the Land of Dementia (2013).

Falling Upward: Book Review

Published January 1, 2011.

I've been reading more intentionally about the second half of life for the past four years.

Recently, I've been choosing books from Changing Aging's recommended list of books that depict aging as a period of growth and development. 

This week, I've been reading Richard Rohr's Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life (Jossey-Bass 2011). 

Rohr describes life as having two distinct and opposing tasks. 

The first half of life is dedicated to building a self that is based on goals, accomplishments and ego.  

But many people end up learning how short-sighted life is when defined this way. Consequently, many adopt the task in the second half of life of transcending narcissism, accomplishments, material security and the vanities of the temporal world.  

Maslow Is a Liar

I see beauty in chaos in this photo by J.E.F.

Introduction to psychology courses nearly always include some attention to Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

From the start of the life span, people usually master each of these needs in ascending order.

People establish physical needs, then social needs and finally more abstract needs, such as self-actualization.

As we age, however, we do not reduce our lives in order from the highest needs down to the most basic needs.  Before I studied gerontology, I expected to see an orderly movement in reverse order as people age.

The aging process is more chaotic than I imagined.

Each person's aging process is unique to them.   And even though some patterns in how people age might emerge in large studies, the aging process of just one person is largely unpredictable.

However, the more I interact with older adults, the more I observe how people can hold onto higher order tasks--spirit, beauty, knowledge and relationships--even as their bodies start to betray them.

Maslow's Hierarchy fails to serve as a model for the aging process.

The Gift of Years: A Review

Published January 1, 2008. 

Aging provides opportunities for growth, and Chittister describes numerous ways people can develop during late life.

Her book The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully is a series of meditations on the following topics:

Intro:The Purpose of Life, Regret, Meaning, Fear, Ageism, Joy, Authority, Transformation, Newness, Accomplishment, Possibility, Adjustment, Fulfillment, Mystery, Relationships, Tale-Telling, Letting Go, Learning, Religion, Freedom, Success, Time, Wisdom, Sadness, Dreams, Limitations, Solitude, Productivity, Memories, Future, Agelessness, Immediacy, Nostalgia, Spirituality, Loneliness, Forgiveness, Outreach, The Present, Appreciation, Faith, Legacy, Afterword: The Twilight Time.

I recommend just one chapter a week, taking one page a day and thinking about the implications of the ideas. The author doesn't provide a lot of specifics. The book is mainly a set of abstractions. However, they can bear fruit if readers generate their own examples.

From Age-ing to Sage-ing

Published April 28, 1995.

A couple of people recommended this From Age-ing to Sage-ing to me in the last few months. I finally caved and read it.

I love this book!  I plan on rereading it every year. 

Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi redefines late life with the help of Ronald S. Miller.  They challenge the notion that late adulthood is limited to loss, decay and death. 

Instead, they describe the aging as the opportunity to review one's life, solidify a legacy, and mentor the rising generations. 

If you are interested in more books on spirituality and aging, check out this list: 

Books on Aging and Spiritual Growth

The origins of Ageing to Sage-ing started in 1984 when Schachter-Shalomi went on a Vision Quest in order to overcome his depression about turning 60. 

He made a commitment to study elderhood so that he could celebrate it. In 1987 he founded the Spiritual Eldering Institute, now called the Sage-ing Guild.  Part of his work includes hosting workshops on how to embrace the third age as a time of growth and development.  

When Does Midlife Start & End?

Photo by wordsnpix.

Late life or older adulthood is the focus of my blog. Consequently, I have made efforts to define "older adult."

Defining "older adult" is complex, because you can't just choose a specific chronological age. 

Roles, function, and perception contribute to the definition of late life--and any life stage.

Recently, people have asked me to define midlife. I'm finding this to be even trickier. 

Midlife starts when young adulthood ceases and before older adulthood starts.  

My forays have found age ranges for midlife landing anywhere between 25 (for those who settle down early) to 75 (for those who still maintain a lot of midlife adult tasks).

The US Census identifies midlife as 35 to 54, a pretty young age range. 

Let's look at the age ranges posited by a few well-established psychologists. 

40 to 65 for Carl Jung.   

30 to 60 for Robert J. Havighurst. 

30 to 60 for  Erik Erikson.

40 to 65 for  Daniel Levinson.

Time Ravishes a Late Quartet

Photo by Tim Evanson. 

A Late Quartet (directed by Yaron Zilberman) opened in theaters on November 2, 2012 (grossing $1.6 million). I try to see all new releases that focus on midlife and late life issues. Nevertheless, it escaped my attention then and again when it was released on DVD on February 5, 2013.

It finally caught my eye while I was searching for more films starring actors in midlife and late life to add to my list.  I was interested to see how the film would discuss the complexities that form when a group of people work together for a quarter of a century.

This film did not disappoint. Its cast includes Christopher Walken as Peter Mitchell, a cellist who is a bit older than the other three members of The Fuge, a string quartet.  At the start of the film, Peter learns that he has Parkinson's Disease, which has affected his ability to perform.  He announces that their upcoming season will be his last, providing his dopamine medication allows him enough muscle control to perform one last time.

Plotkin Describes Life Stages

Photo by AdamSelwood. 

As I move through the lifespan, I can more clearly see the various roles people play.

Stage theory in psychology provides a number of ways for describing these roles.

Theorists such as Jean Piaget, Erik Erikson and Carl Jung have already described how people move through these stages as they age.

But developmental psychologists today are dedicated to finding even more ways to describe and interpret age-based social roles. 

I find Bill Plotkin's work in this area quite fascinating.

He has a strong foundation in Carl Jung's archetype theory. However, Plotkin also draws inspiration from nature, from non-industrialized peoples, from personal narrative, and from interviewing people across the life span.

He also looks at growth of the individual alone as well as the individual embedded in a social context.

Robert C. Peck's Tasks for Older Adults

Photo by Wunkai. 

Some people age without growing up.

Stage theory can help, but the extension of the average life span to about 50 years old to now about 80 years old has rendered older theories incomplete.

Erik Erikson's stage theory a bit anemic when describing midlife and late adulthood.

I recently learned that Peck thought so, too.

Robert Peck has expanded the life stage model to describe these tasks for those in midlife and late life:

• valuing wisdom vs. valuing physical power
• mental flexibility vs. mental rigidity
• ego differentiation vs. work role preoccupation
• body transcendence vs. body preoccupation
• ego transcendence vs. ego preoccupation

Clearly, the preferred traits are those listed first in each pair: valuing wisdom, mental flexibility, ego differentiation, body transcendence, and ego transcendence. They allow growth and development.

Dr. Bill Plotkin has done a lot of great work defining life stages. He looks at non-industrialized communities past and present. He also draws on nature as inspiration and takes people into the wilderness of Colorado on retreats.  He is also a professor of psychology.  Here is a post about his stage theories, which include a lot of powerful roles for people in the second half of life. 

Imagine a person who demonstrates the "opportunity for growth" traits:

She would accept changes to her body but still work to be healthy and strong. She would be a life-long student who develops new skills and interests in midlife and beyond.  She adapts, recognizing that she probably cannot hold the same social roles at 80 as she did at 20, but she would accept or even create new roles that employ her strengths. She can also develop new skills to meet her present challenges.   

Some people have a difficult time adjusting to age. I believe this is true for a number of reasons. 

1. We as a society don't live in multi-generational communities, so we don't observe older adults develop. Most media images focus on people 15 years old to 35 years old. (I've noted more media including people up to 45 years old; however, that still leaves many members of today's adult population). 
2. We live in a youth-obsessed culture where physical beauty, physical strength, power and fame are revered.
3. We are still trying to develop religious practices to support new views of spirituality that replace dogmatic, overly authoritative religious traditions that many of us dismissed as young adults. 

As the Baby Boomers move into late adulthood, they will help articulate their path to spiritual enlightenment so that others might follow and not despair when faced with late-life challenges. Members of other generations are doing this, too.

Aging is more complex and contains more opportunities for growth than many people imagine. 

Related:

Spirituality and Older Adults: Ask, Don't Tell
Gender Differences in Midlife / Late Life Spirituality