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| Image by Abhijit Bhaduri via Creative Commons |
When I was pursuing my master's program in gerontology between 2010 and 2013, I decided to focus on issue of cognition and aging. My understanding of age-related causes of aging was very academic. Yes, I did volunteer at a multi-level care center for five years, but that pales in comparison with having a relative living with significant cognitive challenges.
Currently, two of the my children's six grandparents are living with dementia. One step-parent has normal pressure hydrocephalus (NPH); another step-parent has an undiagnosed form of dementia. Statistically, it is probably Alzheimer's disease; however, it could be vascular dementia or even alcohol-related dementia. (Even though this relative has been sober for decades, the damage might have been done from prior excessive drinking.)
In any case, both of these relatives are now in mid-stage dementia. One has moved into a memory care center in the same assisted living center as their spouse; the other is still living at home, with my parent serving as the primary caregiver.
I do not live close enough to provide regular respite, but I do visit one of these couples once a month, and I did visit the other this month (March 2025). Even though I am well-versed on the challenges, it is still difficult to watch a family member struggle to function, and to watch the spouse exhaust their reserves to be a caregiver. In both cases, it is my parent who is the caregiver.
I have no easy answers for my aging parents and step-parents. This requires taking challenges one day at a time. And even if people find a workable way to address needs, the person living with dementia has their needs change every few months. There is no one-time fix.
All my best to all people living with dementia and to their family caregivers.
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