Going to PT -- Again: Rotator Cuff This Time

 

I spent March going to PT

While I was working for Newman University in Kansas, the VP of Student Affairs observed that her parents were aging under different models: "My mom is rusting out, and my dad is wearing out."  I have long expected that I am on the "wearing out" trajectory.  And so here I am at age 64 with a torn rotator cuff on my right side. 

I have already experienced problems with my right shoulder / arm.  While living in Indiana, I saw an physical therapist for an AC joint impingement and another one for a pinched ulna nerve.  In West Virginia, I saw a physical therapist for a torn piriformis, but that is an issue with my hip (but also on the right side).  Now I am visiting a physical therapist here in Ephraim for a torn rotator cuff. 

I knew something was wrong, but I have been busy supporting my mother, which meant that I was traveling to Utah County (90 miles each way) two or three times a week while working two part jobs and doing volunteer work. (My mother was widowed in January. In February, she fell and broke her left arm in three places. She needed help because of being in a cast.) 

I was going to seek help for myself in May after I filed grades for the semester (I teach a class on research paper writing for Snow College); however, I got to the point where I did not want to use my right arm (my dominant side). 

I was switching to using my ungraceful and weaker left arm, because with my right arm, I could not hang up clothes, could not reach for a bar of soap in the bathtub, and couldn't carry anything over a pound with my right hand.  So I caved and got treatment plan after the  diagnosis, which included movement tests and images: first an x-ray then a sonogram. 

How did I tear my rotator cuff? 

The Other 17%: Not All Elders Are Grandparents

 

Image by Tony Alter
via Creative Commons

My children made statements in early 2026 leading me to believe that they are choosing to be child free. Now, this is their decision. Having a child is a huge responsibility, so they need to really want to accept all the roles and responsibilities that come with being a parent. 

I would be lying, however, if I did not admit to the need to "move the furniture around in my head." In other words, the future I have been imaging for myself just radically shifted.  True, I only have two children, but I thought that maybe at least one of them would have one child. Instead, I am going to be a grandparent to cats now and possibly dogs once they can afford a home with a yard.

Did I traumatize them with inadequate parenting to the point that they are disillusioned with the relationship?  Ouch.  My heart is full of cement with the thought that my poor choices may have influenced their decision to remain child free.   

I decided to look at some data to see how many older adults in the US are grandparents, and Pew Research indicates that 83% of those 65+ in the US are grandparents.  That makes me part of the 17% that never hold that role.